"THAT GUY"

Today, I went to the Mystic Lake Casino Hotel with my dad, and let me tell ya, some people are just pro at being strange. Not only do they wear their “lucky outfit” (which usually consists of something that smells just awful, or some random combination of stuff that they threw on) but they do their “special ju-ju movements” that are supposed to make the machine let them win. OK, so now that the stage is set, who’s ready to be that guy…apparently, creepster who followed me around was up for the challenge.

I remember it as if it were yesterday…or earlier this evening as it were. I had finally found my current favorite slot machine with a one cent denomination (yes one cent, I’m in college and have no money) and I happily sat down and inserted my ten dollars. I was winning a bit, then losing it again; basically, I was just having fun, and trying to get to the bonus of course. Then, it happened, the one thing that all women out there just despise; that one thing that is sure to get you hated…a guy came up, sat down next to me, and peered, with his head very close to the screen of the machine he was to play, and stared at my boobs.

All I could think was how awesome it would have been if I would have had a drink to throw at him, or someone there with me to kick his ass, because in this situation, all I could do was sit in silent horror. I was wearing a perfectly acceptable outfit, no cleavage, no bra straps, nothing. Just the fact that I do have rather large boobs apparently did it for this guy…which was of course super awesome (please note the sarcasm...)

Then, as if the boob staring wasn’t bad enough, he went ultra creepy on me. He started to pet the screen of the game he was playing and mumbling to it. All I could think was, “Jeez-o-Pete can I get a break here?” But no, I could not, for you see, I was in the middle of a bonus that was sure to win me oodles and oodles of pennies, and I was not about to walk away. So I sat there, knowing that Creepy McCreeperson was sitting right next to me, probably staring again. 

As soon as my bonus was done, I hit at the collect winnings button so fast and with precision that the creepster didn’t have a chance to say anything and I was gone. I went to find my dad, who was playing some weird Texas Hold’em slot machine, and he was in the bonus round himself, so I watched. I felt as if the room was clear and I could relax now, since McCreeperson was nowhere to be seen.

Alas, my victory was short lived. I next sat down at a machine that was strikingly similar to my favorite game, and who should show up but creepy man. WTF?! Didn’t he have better things to do other than follow me around?! UUUUUUGH. Needless to say, I got up after winning fourteen dollars and walked briskly to another area of the casino.

I couldn’t believe that I had had my first run in with “that guy” in the casino of all places. I half expected to not have these encounters until I turned 21…but I couldn’t have been more wrong. Watch out ladies…that guy could be anywhere, look like anyone, and say anything.

*To any of you who were expecting killer illustrations, I may add them later, but for now, I am too upset with that guy to draw*